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28 posts22 participants3 posts today
#TheDailyShow 's Desi Lydic had the best take on this ridiculous photo calling the equally ridiculous Kristi Noem's increasingly frequent attempts at Cos Play;
"Friendly Fire Barbie"
Well they were wearing Dog Tags after all so I see how she thought they were fair game. Way to demonstrate 'gun safety' gov dumb bitch.
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comics.lucentinian.comGolf DominanceWhy did the golf ball get a speeding ticket?
Because it heard Rory and Scottie were playing and wanted to get on the green ASAP!
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comics.lucentinian.comGolf and ParkingWhy did the professional golfer rush to the parking lot after the game?
Because he heard they were giving out free mulligans!
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comics.lucentinian.comBasketball MathWhy did the basketball team hire a mathematician?
Because they wanted someone who could figure out how to control their own destiny for a playoff spot!
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comics.lucentinian.comInflation VacationWhy did inflation decide to take a vacation in March?
Because it needed a break from all the tariff pressures and wanted to chill out before things got too heated!
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comics.lucentinian.comInflation ExpectationsWhy did the economist bring a ladder to the inflation data release?
Because they heard the prices were going up!
Continued thread
Mechanic Part 2 - Read the first part first
—-
Finally, Ronald Reagan gets his turn, calls the USA, and talks for 4 hours.
When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Idi Amin and Queen Elizabeth hear this, they both go ballistic and ask the devil why Ronald Reagan got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies: "Since Trump took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call.
Ronald Reagan, Idi Amin and Queen Elizabeth all died and met in hell.
While there, they saw a red phone and asked what the phone was for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Idi Amin calls Uganda, Africa and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Idi Amin writes him a check.
Next, Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes.
When she is finished, the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million pounds, so she writes him a check.
See comment for punchline
‘𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝙻’ 
The real reason HAL 9000 couldn’t open the pod bay doors.
Replied in thread
@Melinda Sure thats a jelly fish and not a WWI soldier buried feet first?
BREAKING: Trump admin pushes to close stock market 4 hours ago. "The president, as the chief law enforcement officer, Kennedy Center chair, and preeminent business mind in the US is the unquestioned authority on when the market should have closed."
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